"Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers." - VoltairE

If students wrote the Bible

Posted by Anne Witton on Monday, October 5, 2015 Under: Random stuff


  • Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh, he would have put it off until the night before it was due and then pulled an all-nighter.
  • The Last Supper would have been eaten the next morning, cold.
  • The forbidden fruit would still have been eaten because anything is better than the food in halls.
  • Paul's letter to the Romans becomes Paul's e-mail to believers@romans.gov
  • Reason Cain killed Abel: they were living in the one bedsit and the dishes weren't getting done.
  • The time and place where the end of the world occurs would be exam halls in May.
  • The reason why Moses and the followers walked in the desert for forty years: they didn't want to ask directions and look like Freshers.
  • The Ten Commandments would be actually only five, double-spaced, and written in large font.
Adapted from http://jokes.christiansunite.com/Bible/If_Students_Wrote_the_Bible.shtml

In : Random stuff 


Tags: humour funny students 
comments powered by Disqus

Tags

40th acts addiction aesop agapé animation anxiety apologetics app apps atheism audio ben folds bible bible study birthday blog book books busyness celibacy charity chart child children christ christmas church colouring comedy commentary communications community conference consumerism conversation creativity culture cwtch data diagram dictionary discipleship discussion documentary education emotion enemies ethics evangelism event evidence fable fair trade faith father fear feeling feminism film fireseeds foodbank freshers fun fundraiser funny game gifts god good gospel grace great commission growth guitar health history holy biscuit holy spirit hope hopelessness hospitality house hub humour hymn identity individualism infographics jesus joke leaflet lennox lgbtq library love magazine map maturity ministry mission moral morality move music nation newcomers news north east old testament online outreach persecution perspective philosophy photo photography piano podcast poem political correctness pool night poverty praise prayer prayer requests presents princess anne priorities prodigal son project provision psalm publicity puzzle questions quiz quotes reference reflection relationship relationships relativism religion repentance resource resources retreat review right and wrong royalty science scripture secularism sermon sex sharing faith showcase significance silence social society song soularium spirituality story student life students study support support discovery talk tech technology thank you theology tools top trumps training translation treasure update value video vine visual website websites witnessing women words worry worship wycliffe ywam

Agapé is a registered charity in England & Wales (no. 258421) and Scotland (no. SC042332).
167 Newhall Street, Birmingham, B3 1SW   |   0121 765 4404   |  info@agape.org.uk