"Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers." - VoltairE

If students wrote the Bible

Posted by Anne Witton on Monday, October 5, 2015 Under: Random stuff


  • Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh, he would have put it off until the night before it was due and then pulled an all-nighter.
  • The Last Supper would have been eaten the next morning, cold.
  • The forbidden fruit would still have been eaten because anything is better than the food in halls.
  • Paul's letter to the Romans becomes Paul's e-mail to believers@romans.gov
  • Reason Cain killed Abel: they were living in the one bedsit and the dishes weren't getting done.
  • The time and place where the end of the world occurs would be exam halls in May.
  • The reason why Moses and the followers walked in the desert for forty years: they didn't want to ask directions and look like Freshers.
  • The Ten Commandments would be actually only five, double-spaced, and written in large font.
Adapted from http://jokes.christiansunite.com/Bible/If_Students_Wrote_the_Bible.shtml

In : Random stuff 


Tags: humour funny students 
comments powered by Disqus

Tags

"loving god' commandment relationship 40th activity acts addiction aesop agapé animation anxiety apologetics app apps argument aroma atheism audio ben folds bible bible characters bible study bible trading cards birthday blog book books busyness celebration celibacy charity chart child children christ christendom christmas church church history coastguard colouring comedy commentary communications community conference consumerism conversation creation creation care creativity culture cwtch data debate devotional diagram dictionary disagreement discipleship discussion documentary easter education elder brother emotion enemies environment ethics evangelism event evidence ezekiel fable facebook fair trade faith father fear feeling feminism film fireseeds flesh foodbank freshers fun fundraiser funny game generosity gifts giving god good gospel grace gratitude great commission green growth guitar health heart history holy biscuit holy spirit home hope hopelessness hospitality house hub humour hymn identity individualism infographics interviews jesus joke kingdom of god leaflet lennox lgbtq library literature love magazine map maturity meditation memory mental health ministry mission moral morality move music nation newcomers news north east old testament online outreach parable persecution perspective philosophy photo photography piano podcast poem political correctness pool night post-christendom poverty praise prayer prayer requests presentation presents princess anne priorities prodigal son project provision psalm publicity puzzle questions quiz quotes reading reference reflection relationship relationships relativism religion repentance rescue resource resources rest retreat review reviews right and wrong royalty sabbath sacrifice scholarship science scripture secularism sermon sex sharing faith shopping showcase significance silence sin slavery smell social social action social media society software solitude song songs soularium spiritual gifts spirituality stats stewardship stone story student student life students study support support discovery talk tech technology tft thank you thanksgiving theology time tools top trumps trading cards training translation treasure treasure hunt trivia true freedom trust update value video vine visual walk website websites witnessing women words world worry worship wrong wycliffe ywam

Agapé is a registered charity in England & Wales (no. 258421) and Scotland (no. SC042332).
167 Newhall Street, Birmingham, B3 1SW   |   0121 765 4404   |  info@agape.org.uk | Privacy policy